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I bet I wrote about it in my journal, she said. And 15 minutes later, I was reading a PDF of a piece of lined paper from , with a description of how the sunlight bled across the sky and dappled the world through the trees as I kissed her.
So after all this time, the memory she took away was the moment I had wanted to give her, and more.
I threw all caution to the wind and asked about that morning in preschool with the paper airplanes. She remembered.
Today, with the weight of the past having turned to a feather, only the unbearable lightness of being human still lingers: how many other moments did the insecurity of living in the wrong body cause me to miss?
Perhaps just as many as the memories that being transgender has yielded. My life would not be mine if I could change how it happened. And besides, after my sex change I got to have some of my own first times all over again -- and then experience them once more in writing a memoir I am working on.
Inhabiting the right body is no guarantee that anything will else will follow. All it means is that now life may work in the correct medium -- like a study for a portrait that the future will paint:.
This post concludes Part One of Being Transgender -- Naked , a project in multiple media examining personal identity in society today.
Thank you for reading, and please stay tuned for more. US Edition U. Coronavirus News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes.
Newsletters Coupons. Terms Privacy Policy. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. My kiss with Amanda would weigh on me for 21 years, well after I had gotten into the right body.
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2 Comments
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